Procrastination

Singing the procrastination song... lala lalala lalalalala...

So, in theory, I should be writing a script right now...

But I'm just so tired.  I just don't have the energy.

I don't have the energy for much, lately...

I got up at 4:30 this morning, showered, went to work, worked, sat in the store meeting, while simultaneously helping the borrowed partners from another store navigate our store and fill things and prep things for them (all without a break, by the way. That's illegal. I'm a smoker, the law says you HAVE to give me a smoke break. And even if I didn't smoke, I was on the clock for five hours. I am legally entitled to a paid ten minute break, and an unpaid half-hour break.)
After work, I smoked, like... half a pack of cigarettes to compensate for my stress and hunger, hung out and got lunch with two co-workers I just adore! Went and spent money I shouldn't have on a pedicure (but, let's face it, I'm worth it.), drove home and tried to nap, but couldn't. Watched a really shitty episode of SNL, attempted to flirt with a guy I've been flirting with for the better part of a year, and now, I'm blogging.

That was my day. In theory, didn't do much. But I am exhausted. I've got a good iron count, I'm active, and (obviously from my last post) I'm not pregnant. I shouldn't be this tired! UGH.

I'm doing my best to give myself "me time", but even "me time" is exhausting. You know what I would really like? Pampering. I never want pampering. Never. It makes me feel bad. Like a total clod. A total, self-absorbed, selfish, useless to society clod.
But what I wouldn't give for a massage! And someone making me feel pretty and important and necessary.

Maybe that's my issue. I don't feel necessary. I work and teach and work and teach and I'm trying to get my acting shit together, but the universe is kinda working against me right now, and I've stopped drinking, meaning people have stopped inviting me to hang out, so my social life has seriously decreased, so I've become completely grating to those I am hanging out with because I'm totally wearing out my welcome, and for the love of god all I want if for someone to hold me and cuddle me and love me and tell me I'm pretty and worth it and fantastic, because my room mate is always busy, and she's not exactly the cuddly type, and I am so tired of coming home to an empty house.

Wahhhhhhhhhhhh

rant rant rant.

...maybe I'm PMSing?

And I sound just a little pathetic.

But seriously though. Cuddles. I need them. I am thisclose to hopping on craigslist or okcupid.

WHICH IS RIDICULOUS! Because I am FINE being single. I'm HAPPY when I'm single. I do NOT NEED someone to complete me! That's NONSENSE! But I would really like to settle down some day and have a family and my clock is TICKING SO LOUD I can hardly hear myself think!

Also, I watched Rock of Ages the other day, and that movie just really fucking SUCKED.