WARNING!
THIS POST MAY NOT BE APPROPRIATE FOR FAMILY MEMBERS DUE TO LOTS AND LOTS OF OVER SHARING
READ AT YOUR OWN RISK
... I miss sex.
Like, I really really really really really freaking miss sex.
Seriously.
I mean, yay, I working on becoming emotionally healthy, which is awesome. I have lots of issues regarding self worth tied up in my sexuality. I know where it all comes from. I crave sex because I crave intimacy, because my first few experiences with sexuality were negative, too early, or uncomfortable; and I found that through promiscuity I received more attention and happiness, for however short a period. If I was depressed, I went to the bar, flirted with a pretty lady, or cute guy, and wham-bam-thank you ma'am! And then I felt icky and depressed again. Granted, it was later...
Basically, when my pre-frontal cortex failed to make me happy, promiscuity rewarded me with the needed flood of dopamine. Kind of a "skank reflex" if you will. Now, I was never skanky... Okay, maybe I was, a little... But I blame my incredibly fragile emotional state.
Now, it's been... I'm gonna go ahead and say at least 6 months, although I think it's been longer. And I am dying. Not literally, but it does feel that way sometimes. I have a very healthy sex drive. There is only so much that having some "special alone happy fun private time" can do for you.
And cuddling! Goddess above, I miss cuddling. Curling up with someone and falling asleep... Waking up with the knowledge that someone is next to you... Spooning... I would give my left hand for some spooning...
Miss it. So much.
But I'm emotionally healthy. Woo.
Also, I think that... since I gave up drinking...I've become really really boring.
That, or my friends are idiots.
I've been listening to three songs on repeat for pretty much the last month and a half.
They are fantastic. I highly recommend you checking them out.
First: Carry On by FUN
Second: Home by Phillip Phillips (Not a typo. That's actually his name. Way to go parents. ugh)
Third: The District Sleeps Alone Tonight by The Postal Service
Listen to these songs.
You will thank me.
Seriously.
First of all, I am by nature someone who will go out of her way to read anything I'm not supposed to. Secondly, my job-of-work for which I get paid is to ask complete strangers the most intimate questions you can imagine...as one man said, "I've told you things I don't even tell my priest" And third of all, the very most important thing you wrote (from MY limited persepctive) is that you are still curtailing your drinking. So, YES! to that. The rest of it is your life.
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