Even been haunted my something?
A song, a melody, a person, a spirit, a thought?
With me, it's usually songs that follow me everywhere I go. Looking back, I can say that it's probably the universe or my subconscious, trying to tell me something that I haven't been listening to.
But lately...I don't know... It seems like I'm being followed by something more. Not a spirit, not a cloud of bad luck, but... something...
On a different topic, I had a really interesting experience Monday night. To make a very long story short, I went out with a couple friends, did things I wasn't entirely comfortable with, ended up somewhere I wasn't familiar with, and ended up a long way from my car, barefoot, in the rain, alone, on capital hill, at 3 in the morning. It sucked. Luckily, I have hero's who talked me down from my panic attack. My buddy Nathanael, who is never awake at such an unGodly hour, was wide awake, almost ready, for my call. He talked me down, got my panic attack under control, kept me moving, kept me talking, offered on numerous occasions to come pick me up (But heaven forbid I let someone do something for me. My life could never be that simple). So with a general direction from my buddy Ray, he talked my through the ohhhhh half hour/forty-five minutes it took me to find my car, unlock the door, and get it. And I don't think I will ever be more grateful to anyone in my entire life.
I was raped, several years ago. And, in theory, I am healed, no longer broken, stronger, and I've put it behind me. But that hour alone on Capitol Hill put me right back there, quaking with fear, with terror, with helplessness...So help me God, I will never feel that way ever again. Ever. Fucking ever.
Completely un-related again. I had a wonderful date on Tuesday. Anna and I went out to dinner, thai food in Fremont is the best, and I had such a wonderful time! She's funny, and witty, and creative, and smart... There was never a lull in conversation, we talked about multiple things, we have several common interests...Dinner was awesome. After it was over, we wandered around a little bit, and she walked me back to my car. She kissed me (I didn't have to make the first move! Ahhh!), and we chatted and we went home. All in all, an outrageously satisfying day. :-) Mmmmmmthaifood.
Well, those have been the most recent adventures in my life. Go team.
Oh, I've been listening to Some Nights by the group FUN a lot. I can't decide if I love it or if it depresses the hell out of me. Melodically charming, lyrically heartbreaking...
I have been young and know how easy it is to go-with-the-flow of what you hope will be fun. Please take care. You have had not-nice things happen to you and not allowed that to defeat you...we don't want the "not-nice" to get a second chance. Your honesty amazes and impresses me.
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