You are the answer to a question that I never posed

It's easy to say "I love you anyway" but I don't. I love you because.

I just got back from the fantastic matinee performance of Spring Awakening at Balagan Theatre. It was incredible. It made me fall in love with theatre - modern theatre- all over again. I had a few friends in the show, and it was wonderful just watching them shine. And, of course, I was once again filled with a deep longing. A need. A yearning.
I must perform.
Several moments, I felt tears streaming down my face, and I couldn't even remember starting to cry. There were a select few moments in the show that I felt the hair on my arms and the back of my neck literally stand on end. I actually got goosebumps. But that's what good theatre does.
Not to say that this is a show for everyone. It certainly isn't. I'd rate it NC-17. PG-13 at the very very very least. It's not a show for the masses. It's a show for the few. For the young. For the rebels. For the confused. For the desperate. For the ones who need to make a difference, who need to belong, who need to question.
It's a show, in essence, about sex. And there's nothing wrong with that. But our society is still so sheltered, sex is still so taboo. And don't even mention masterbation!
I looked up the youtube video for the Tony performance. They can say the word "Bitch" onstage, but all the lyrics referring to masturbation or wet dreams had to be changed. Interesting they way society has evolved. And hasn't.
But, back to my origional point. The show was fantastic, and it filled me with the hunger for the stage. Again. As usual.
Now, I've got my own show coming up. It opens on Thursday, actually. (Whoops!)
But GOD I wish I could do a show about something revolutionary. A show with a message.
Which is why I enjoyed HAIRSPRAY so much I think. (I was just in HAIRSPRAY with Seattle Musical Theatre. I was Tracy. It was awesome). That show had several clear messages: Racism is dumb. Segregaion is wrong. Big people can be pretty.
I just... need to be in a musical again. A revolutionary musical. A show where my soul soars and my heart goes crazy and I fall in love with my life all over again every single night.
I need to act. It's who I am.

Hello? World?

Well... Curtain up and light the lights. I have started a blog....
Ugh.I kind of feel like I'm selling out. But, I have a story to tell. A journey to make.
And I'm sorta kinda maybe hoping the universe might give me some guidance. Or at least that this blog will help me look at and figure out things in my life before it all turns to drama....get it? Because I'm an actor? Oy. Tough crowd.
I'm basically going to use this blog like a journal. But be open to comment and suggestion.So, let's get the ball rolling, shall we?
Hi!I'm Kate. A 20-something actor in Seattle, WA. I'm not outrageously successful by any means, but I've done some really good work that I can be proud of, and I'm following my dreams. So I'm calling it a win.
Other fun facts: I'm a Cancer. I believe in astrology. I love to eat and cook (because food is awesome). I'm an alchoholic. I'm working on getting sober. I love art. And Shakespeare. And the color red. Deep red. Burgandy. The color of a good Shiraz. I prefer pearls to diamonds. I'm grew up Catholic but no longer practice. I consider myself Pagan. I love my Tarot cards. I'm plus size. Curvy. Full Figured. I love my body. I'm sexy. I like alternative music but have a soft spot for the oldies. I trust too easily and therefore cannot stand people who lie. I'm adopted.
Let's play with that last one there, shall we? I'm adopted. I've always known. I grew up with that knowledge. My adoption, however, was private and closed. Meaning I've never had any information or contact with or about my biological family. Unitl now.
A few months ago my mother dropped the bombshell that not only do my parents know who and where my biolocal family is, my father actually worked with my biological maternal grandmother.
Um, WHAT?! Oh, ok after years of calling hospitals, lawyers, geneologists, searching for even a crumb of information, you're telling me YOU KNOW THEM?! WHAT THE HELL?!
So, naturally, I've demanded some answers. Ok, I begged for answers. And then just for information. A city. An e-mail address.The last request was granted. I was given my biological maternal grandmother's email address. Out of respect for her privacy I'm going to refer to her as "Jean."
Jean and I have been emailing back and forth a little bit, which has been awesome. And nervewracking. And scary as hell. But, we'll see how it goes.
I'll be updating often with stories of how this is going. And how my acting career is going. And about my life in general. Like I said, I'll be using this blog as a public journal.
Wish me luck. All happy thoughts are appreciated.
blessed be,
Kate